In addition to closing joint marital credit cards be prepared to close out joint bank accounts or at least take your share of money in joint accounts. Although an accounting of money or stuff is possible later the old adage that possession is 9/10 of the law still applies- If you want something take it the day you move out or you may never see it again. 2. Think about how your life will change. Don’t just move out and realize you can’t afford to live on your own. If you have children consider who is going to pick the children up from daycare or take them to soccer practice. If you have not been working and are going to sue for alimony or child support realize that can take months to establish in Court.
3. Start saving. Two people can’t live separate the way they can together. Expect the standard of living for you and your spouse to both suffer as a result of having the expenses of two separate households. Two roofs, two cable bills, two electricity bills, two internet bills, two water bills, two natural gas bills, two of everything adds up quick. Moving is expensive- first month rent, security deposit, moving men and truck, utility deposits. Also realize you may have to hire a lawyer or accountant to help you sort things out. 4. Decide what you want. Do you want full custody of the children? Do you want alimony? Do you simply want a peaceful separation and orderly division of assets and debts? Realize what you want may be easy or hard depending on how your spouse reacts. Consider talking to a therapist- divorce is stressful. Many insurance plans offer a limited number of free hours. If you have children your relationship with them WILL change. You still need to co-parent and a therapist or parenting counselor can really help during the transition. 5. Talk to a lawyer. Never assume things will just work out for best. Educate yourself on family law. Think of all your questions, write them down, and go talk to at least one divorce attorney. Don’t simply ask your friend who is recently divorced- every case has the potential to be different. Hopefully you won’t need to do anything beyond have your bases covered. That being said there is no substitute for legal advice from a professional whose job is to protect your assets and interests.
12 Comments
Mrs. S.
4/15/2015 11:56:16 am
Can I put a malware program on my spouse's computer if I suspect he is cheating to capture his emails?
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Jason Witt
4/15/2015 01:35:20 pm
Although it may be tempting and easy, adding spyware to a computer can expose you to prosecution under the Federal Wiretapping Act in addition to NC Statutes that provide for monetary damages. Another problem is explaining in Court how you obtained the emails or other evidence. Even adding a GPS unit to the car of a spouse may be an invasion of privacy.
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Melissa Blount
4/14/2016 10:13:35 am
My spouse lives in New Jersey and I recently moved to North Carolina in December what jurisdiction can I file for a legal separation and a divorce in?
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Jason Witt
4/14/2016 11:23:49 am
You should be eligible for a simple uncontested divorce in NC after you have been a NC resident for 6 months and have been separated for at least a year. You may be eligible to file in New Jersey now depending on the law in that State. If there is property, custody, or support issues then that complicates matters.
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juana belk broaden
7/31/2016 07:55:28 pm
My husband has been cheating since he got out of prison and now he is telling me he wants a divorce what are my rights and can i get alimony
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Jason Witt
7/31/2016 08:40:55 pm
Adultery can certainly be grounds for spousal support. You may also be able to sue the other party for alienation of affection and/or criminal conversation.
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Jason Witt
10/23/2017 08:54:32 pm
Do you mean you don't have money to hire a lawyer or don't have money for the filing fee for a simple uncontested divorce? For the former you could contact legal aid. For the latter you can apply for a fee waiver as an indigent to avoid the filing fee.
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Jim
5/9/2019 04:06:39 pm
How can I avoid my lover to not being sue for alienation of affection? (I did not tell her I was married)
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Jason Witt
5/9/2019 05:49:40 pm
If you were not separated from your spouse at the time that is an issue you would need to seek specific legal advice to see if there are any ways to protect your paramour.
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Scott
5/1/2024 11:46:44 pm
If she broke up with me and I had sexual relations with another female but afterwards sometime she still decided to be with me and then decides she wants to get married a month or two later is that considered adultery or anything to harm me if I decide I want to get a divorce after realizing it was a mistake?
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Jason Witt
5/2/2024 09:00:48 am
For specific legal advice you would need to speak with a local divorce attorney.
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